Challenging Perfectionism When Starting a Habit
Challenging perfectionism when starting a habit is a must. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If you are starting a new habit, or restarting an old one, you need to be challenging perfectionism when it inevitably creeps up. In my years of working with clients, I have yet to meet someone who is not affected by perfectionism when they start a habit. I’ve found that when I encourage them to rein themselves in, they have more success. Here are some of my biggest tips.
Challenging perfectionism in your goals
There’s a difference between saying “I’m going to walk 1 mile everyday” and “I’m going to go for a walk every day.” The former is quite the feat. It’s an honorable goal and I hope you get there and love it! However, you will have days where this does not happen.
Starting small is where it’s at. If you currently do not walk on a daily basis, committing to 1 mile a day could be setting yourself up for failure. Not to say you can’t achieve a goal like that. People do. However, when you inevitably have a rough day or 2 and don’t achieve a mile, you’ll feel like you didn’t hit your goal.
Instead, you can adjust your goal to be something attainable when you are first starting out. “I’m going to go for a walk every day” is more attainable because if needed, it can be a shorter walk. That leads me to my next tip…
Challenge all-or-nothing thinking
If your goal is to walk every day then that’s the goal. If you’re exhausted after a long day, it may not be the day you walk 1 mile around your neighborhood. And, on days you’re struggling with depression or feeling anxious, it may be hard to motivate yourself to get out the door.
All-or-nothing thinking when it comes to building habits is when you see the habit as either doing it all (walking 1 mile) or doing nothing. You view it as a win or a failure. This is a mistake.
Instead, find the middle ground. There are 5,280 feet per mile. That’s a lot of middle ground options. You could decide to simply walk to your mailbox, the end of your street, that one tree a few houses down, a quarter mile, a half mile, or a full mile. Anything can be a “walk.” While this may sound silly to walk to your mailbox only, it’s better than not going at all. You’re building a habit and part of building a habit is simply doing the habit. More can come later.
Accept your level of energy
My biggest advice when it comes to building a habit is to be accepting of your energy level. This is a main component for challenging perfectionism when it comes to habits. When it feels like you want to skip doing a habit you are wanting to start, ask yourself “how much energy do I have today?” Then, match your energy and be nice to yourself about it. When you have a low energy day, here are some examples of how to adjust a habit.
Habit: Go for a walk every day.
Low energy option: Walk to the end of my driveway and back.
Habit: Do the dishes every day.
Low energy option: Do 5 minutes of dishes and stop.
Habit: Exercise every day.
Low energy option: Do 5 minutes of stretching while watching TV.
By accepting your level of energy, you are setting yourself up to accomplish a new habit. Again, the biggest challenge when it comes to doing a habit is doing it. Set a realistic goal, challenge all-or-nothing thinking, and accept your energy level for the day.
About the author:
I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with women on self-improvement including building new habits or restarting an old habit. I have experience in helping my clients live intentional lives and doing so in a way that works specifically for them rather than trying to fit someone else’s mold. We work together to help you with challenging perfectionism when it comes to starting a habit.
If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.
