4 Ways to Cope with Social Anxiety at the Dentist

Did you know social anxiety hates going to the dentist too? Here are 4 ways to manage your social anxiety when you visit your dentist

Social anxiety at the dentist can lead you dreading your appointment or even putting off scheduling an appointment in the first place. It’s well known that people struggle with dental anxiety related to the actual dental work being done. When you have social anxiety, having a dentist appointment can set off the anxiety alarm in your head.

Here are 4 ways to cope with social anxiety at the dentist.

1. Coping with social anxiety about small talk at the dentist

Social anxiety’s biggest nemesis: small talk. And it’s worse because it’s small talk when someone is trying to clean your teeth and you’re trying to be friendly but not so friendly that they get annoyed that you’re talking too much and can’t clean your teeth. But then they keep asking you questions, but then also keep telling you to open your mouth so they can keep cleaning your teeth. And you wonder how much you’re supposed to ask them about their lives vs. simply answering their questions. Sounds about right?

Remember this, you are not there to entertain them. It is not your job to make them feel comfortable and keep the small talk going. That is what the hygienist or dentist is there for. Allow them to take the lead and don’t feel guilty about that. They do this all day every day. Let me say that again. All. Day. Every. Day. 

Furthermore, you are not a mind reader. No one is. Therefore, it is not on you to guess when they need access to which side of your mouth, want your mouth open or closed, etc. They will tell you what they need from you.

Lastly, did you know that one of the main reasons the dentist talks to you during your exam is because it helps reduce anxiety surrounding dental work? It’s also designed to help build rapport with you, help you feel comfortable, and enjoy the time together. Check out this article from a dentist explaining small talk at the dentist.

2. Using mindfulness at the dentist

Using mindfulness when you are in the dental chair can be a great way to redirect your brain from any socially anxious thoughts you may have. It gives your mind something else to focus on and brings you back to the present moment. A few examples of ways to do this:

• Count the tiles on the ceiling.
• Focus on your breathing while taking slow, deep breaths.
• Name 5 things you can feel without moving (your shoes on your feet, your head on the chair, the sunglasses on your face, etc).
• Listen intently to the song that is playing and sing along in your head if you know the words.

3. Relax your body

If you are feeling socially anxious at the dentist, you may notice that your body tenses up. You might clench your fists or grip the chair armrests. While this is very normal, it sends a message to your brain that there is something to be anxious about. You can alter this message by relaxing your body.

When we are anxious, we also often have ways our body tenses up without us noticing. Where do you hold your anxiety? Your head? Chest? Stomach? See about specifically relaxing those muscles.

Try lying in the dental chair with your body as calm and open as possible. Unclench your hands and rest them on your lap or armrest without tension. Relax your leg muscles.

I have a whole blog post about how to relax your body posture to help your anxiety. You can read more here.

4. Remember anticipation is usually the worst part

One of the things I always remind my clients to do is to check in with yourself after the fact when there’s a situation you were anxious about. Typically, the anticipatory anxiety was worse than what actually happened. This can be a good debrief for your brain. 

Since their job is to protect us, our brains are accustomed to focusing on the negative and often do not spend much time on the positive. You need to be the one to say “hold on brain, we need to recognize that what just happened was not as bad as we thought it would be.” File it away as evidence against the anxious thoughts you were having.

You can then use this in reverse the next time you go to the dentist. Remind yourself, “it has never been as bad as I thought it would be.”

About the author:

I am a psychotherapist who specializes in helping women overcome social anxiety. Social anxiety can be debilitating and prevent you from engaging in the life you want to have, including causing distress when you simply want to attend a routine dental cleaning. There is help for social anxiety and it’s a passion of mine to help you retrain your brain to become less socially anxious.

If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.