How to Stop Phone Addiction
To the person addicted to their phone,
Hi there, I know you’re struggling. I know you identify that your phone use is a problem or you wouldn’t be searching this on the internet and/or reading this blog if it wasn’t impacting your life. see you, I understand you, and honestly? Sometimes, I struggle with this too. Oh, and I’m also a therapist.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up my phone to check one thing and suddenly 30 minutes are gone. Sound familiar?
I know you’ve probably tried to reduce your phone use before and it didn’t stick. Timers set on apps are too easy to override and turn off. Putting your phone in another room sometimes worked until it just didn’t anymore. Or it’s not enough for lasting change.
You pull your phone out when life feels too hard. A scrolling session feels like a quick escape. A mental break. A temporary numbing out to hopefully feel better. But it usually leaves you feeling worse. It didn’t actually help, it barely distracted you, and in fact, it kept you from the things that would actually help.
But you keep going back for more. And more. And more. Just a quick scroll. Just five minutes. Just one more check. And before you know it, another hour is gone.
If you feel like your phone is controlling you more than you’re controlling it, you’re not alone. I work with people in Chicago, Milwaukee, Hinsdale, and Whitefish Bay who want to change their relationship with their phone but don’t know where to start. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Real change is possible, and I’d love to help you get there.
Is phone addiction real?
I hear this question all the time: Can you actually be addicted to your phone? While smartphone addiction isn’t officially in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and therefore not a diagnosis, the way many people struggle with their phones mirrors what we see with behavioral addictions.
The DSM-5 outlines 11 criteria for addiction, divided into four key areas: impaired control, social impairment, risky use, and physical dependence. Let’s look at how these might apply to your phone use.
1. Impaired Control
Using more than intended – You tell yourself you’ll check your phone for just a minute, but suddenly 45 minutes or more have passed.
Unsuccessful attempts to cut back – You’ve tried setting limits, deleting apps, or turning off notifications, but you always find ways around it.
Spending excessive time on the phone – Your phone is your default activity. You reach for it in every spare moment, even when you don’t need to.
Cravings or urges to use – You feel restless, anxious, or incomplete without your phone nearby.
2. Social Impairment
Phone use interferes with responsibilities – You fall behind on work, struggle to be present with your kids, lose focus in conversations, or daily tasks get put off because you’re on your phone.
Continued use despite relationship strain – Loved ones mention your screen time, but you struggle to change the habit.
Loss of interest in other activities – Hobbies, exercise, or social interactions take a backseat to scrolling.
3. Risky Use
Using the phone in unsafe situations – Checking your phone while driving, walking, or during late nights when you should be sleeping.
Continued use despite negative effects – You know it worsens your anxiety, mood, sleep, or focus, but you keep picking it up.
4. Physical Dependence
Tolerance – You need more screen time to feel satisfied, constantly refreshing apps or switching between them.
Withdrawal symptoms – When you try to cut back, you feel irritable, anxious, or uncomfortable.
Should Smartphone Addiction Be in the DSM?
I (and many others in the mental health field) believe it should be! Phone addiction shares nearly all the hallmarks of behavioral addiction, yet it remains unrecognized in the DSM. As research continues to grow on how phone overuse affects mental health, dopamine-driven compulsions, and anxiety, it’s possible that future DSM updates may include it as a recognized condition. But for now, even without an official diagnosis, we can still treat it like what it is: a real struggle that requires real solutions.
The Reality: It’s Not Your Fault
If you see yourself in this list, you’re not alone. Many of my clients struggle with these same patterns, and the truth is this isn’t just about willpower.
But just like with any other behavioral addiction, change is possible. I work with my clients on real, sustainable strategies to help break free from compulsive phone use, not by forcing a strict detox, but by relearning how to engage with the world in a way that feels intentional and freeing.
If this resonates with you, you’re already taking the first step. If you’re ready to take back control, I’d love to help.
What causes phone addiction
Many people I work with in therapy feel stuck in their phone habits, wondering why is this so hard to break? The answer isn’t just about willpower. There’s actual science behind why we get hooked. Smartphone addiction isn’t just a bad habit; it’s a behavioral addiction driven by dopamine, habit loops, and intentional design choices by tech companies.
The science behind phone addiction
Every time you check your phone, whether it’s for a notification, a like, or a new message, your brain releases dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that signals pleasure and reward, reinforcing behaviors that feel good. This is the same chemical involved in other addictive behaviors, like gambling or substance use.
Here’s how it works:
Anticipation – You open your phone, expecting something exciting.
Reward – You get a notification, a new post, funny video, or a message, triggering a dopamine release.
Reinforcement – Your brain remembers this felt good, making you more likely to check again.
Over time, this rewires your brain to crave your phone constantly. You’re not even thinking about it anymore. You just reach for it automatically.
Tech companies make your phone addicting on purpose
If it feels like your phone is impossible to put down, that’s by design. Tech companies intentionally engineer apps and devices to keep you engaged because they make money off your attention. As the saying goes, “if something is free, then you are the product.”
Here are some ways they manipulate your brain:
Infinite scrolling on platforms like TikTok and Instagram prevents natural stopping points.
Push notifications pull you back in and trigger FOMO (fear of missing out).
Unpredictable rewards like getting a random like or comment create a slot machine effect. You check repeatedly because you never know when you’ll get a dopamine hit.
Bright colors and sounds stimulate your brain in the same way casino environments do.
If you want a deeper dive into how tech companies intentionally design apps to be addictive, I highly recommend watching The Social Dilemma (2020). This documentary features former tech insiders who expose the psychological tricks used to keep us scrolling, clicking, and coming back for more, often at the cost of our mental health. It’s eye-opening and explains why resisting phone addiction is an uphill battle, not just a matter of willpower.
How phone addiction rewires your brain
Using your phone compulsively doesn’t just reinforce bad habits. It physically changes your brain. Studies show that excessive screen time can lead to:
Reduced attention span – The constant stimulation makes it harder to focus on real-world tasks.
Weaker impulse control – The more we rely on quick dopamine hits, the harder it is to resist urges.
Increased anxiety and stress – Our brains become wired for constant engagement, making stillness and boredom feel unbearable.
The bottom line: It’s an uphill battle
If you struggle to cut back, it’s not just you. Your brain is fighting a system designed to keep you hooked. The good news? You can rewire your brain back, but it takes intentional effort. That’s where therapy comes in. I help my clients break out of these patterns by learning how to take back control one small step at a time.
How does phone addiction affect mental health?
Do you ever feel like your phone is both a lifeline and a source of stress? Many of my clients come to therapy struggling with anxiety, exhaustion, or a general sense of feeling “off” without realizing how much their phone use is contributing. Maybe you pick up your phone for a quick check and suddenly 30 minutes have disappeared. Maybe you reach for it without thinking, such as at stoplights, in waiting rooms, even mid-conversation with a loved one. You might even feel a little guilty about how much you use it, but at the same time, it feels impossible to stop.
The truth is, phones give us an easy escape. They offer a quick distraction when we’re overwhelmed, a way to numb out when things feel hard, and a constant source of stimulation that keeps us from sitting with discomfort. But here’s the thing: when we use our phones to avoid stress, anxiety, or sadness, we don’t actually make those feelings go away. In fact, we usually make them worse.
Using your phone to escape
When life feels overwhelming, your phone can feel like a safe haven. It’s a place to zone out, scroll, and forget about the stress of the day. And for a brief moment, it works. That quick dopamine hit from refreshing your feed, checking notifications, or watching a funny video gives you a little boost. But then what?
The relief is temporary, so you need to check again. And again.
The things you’re avoiding—stress, loneliness, exhaustion—don’t actually go away.
The time spent scrolling often replaces things that would actually help, like rest, connection, or movement.
I see this pattern a lot, especially with moms. When you're constantly tending to everyone else's needs, your phone might feel like the only thing that's yours, a little pocket of escape. But the more you rely on it to numb out, the harder it becomes to engage in real, fulfilling moments.
Can phone addiction make anxiety worse?
Absolutely. If you already struggle with anxiety, your phone can make it worse without you even realizing it.
Constant stimulation keeps your brain on high alert. The endless notifications, texts, and updates never let your nervous system settle.
The need to check creates more stress. That little itch to check your phone? That’s your brain craving another dopamine hit, and when you resist, you feel restless or uneasy.
Avoiding emotions means they don’t get processed. If you always reach for your phone instead of sitting with discomfort, those anxious feelings never get worked through. And they just build up.
Comparison fuels self-doubt. Seeing other people’s highlight reels can make you feel like you’re not doing enough, which only adds to anxious thoughts.
Many of my clients say they feel more anxious after using their phone, even though they picked it up hoping for a distraction.
Can phone addiction lead to depression?
Phones promise connection, entertainment, and comfort, but too much screen time often has the opposite effect. If you’ve ever spent an evening scrolling and then felt drained, empty, or down afterward, here’s why:
Dopamine depletion. The constant hits of quick, easy pleasure from your phone can make real-life activities feel dull in comparison. Over time, this makes it harder to feel motivated or excited about everyday experiences.
Less engagement in fulfilling activities. The more time spent on your phone, the less time available for things that actually boost your mood. Like hobbies, relationships, nature, or rest.
Increased loneliness. Scrolling through social media can make it feel like you’re connected to others, but if it replaces real interactions, it can leave you feeling isolated.
Disrupted sleep. Poor sleep and depression are closely linked, and phone use can wreak havoc on your sleep patterns.
I often ask my clients: After a long scroll session, do you feel refreshed? More connected? More fulfilled? The answer is almost always no. The quick distraction doesn’t actually meet your needs. It just numbs you out for a little while.
How do I stop my addiction to my phone
I am so here for you if you’ve made it this far and are ready to try something to regain your time, mental health, and life. Here are my tips to stop phone addiction.
Identify the need behind the habit
Before you try to change your phone habits, it helps to ask yourself: What am I actually looking for when I pick up my phone?
Are you reaching for it when you feel anxious, bored, overwhelmed, or lonely? Are you looking for connection, distraction, validation, or entertainment? Your phone is meeting a need, even if it’s not doing so in a way that truly helps. Instead of just trying to cut back, figure out what that need is and how you can meet it in a healthier way.
If you check your phone when you’re anxious, you may need grounding techniques or calming activities instead. If you scroll when you’re lonely, reaching out to a friend for a quick chat might serve you better. If you pick up your phone out of habit, creating small barriers like keeping it in another room can help you be more intentional.
Be honest about what you need
Not everyone can simply set a timer and be done with it. This is an addiction, and everyone’s needs will be different. Some people do fine with screen time limits or moving apps off their home screen. Others need stricter boundaries, like blocking apps and websites entirely.
It’s okay if you need a stronger approach. Here are a few creative ways to set firm boundaries.
Wear an outfit without pockets. It sounds silly, but if you physically can’t carry your phone, you’ll be less likely to reach for it.
Use parental control apps on yourself. Tools like Freedom can lock you out of certain apps or websites entirely. Take it a step further and block the app from your phone so you are made to use your desktop/laptop to override the parental control app’s settings.
Physically separate yourself from your phone. Put it in another room, leave it in your car, or lock it in a time-controlled safe. The Brick is an awesome device that creates a physical barrier between you and the most addicting aspects of your phone.
Turn your smartphone into a dumb phone.Disable your web browser, delete social media, or remove your favorite time-wasting apps.
The key is to be honest with yourself about what level of restriction you actually need. The more you struggle with compulsive checking, the more boundaries you might have to set.
Remember you’re working against big tech
This isn’t just about willpower. Tech companies want you to be addicted to your phone. The algorithms, notifications, infinite scrolling, and autoplay are all designed to keep you engaged for as long as possible.
That means any smartphone use needs to be done intentionally. Instead of letting your phone dictate when and how you use it, take control.
Turn off as many notifications as possible. Every ding and vibration is designed to pull you back in.
Set phone-free zones. Whether it’s the dinner table, the bedroom, or your commute, create spaces where your phone doesn’t belong.
Ask yourself, "Do I actually want to be on my phone right now?" If the answer is no, put it down.
Tech companies have spent billions figuring out how to keep you hooked. It’s not your fault that this is hard. But once you recognize what you’re up against, you can take back control.
Replace the habit with something better
Simply putting your phone down isn’t enough. You need to replace it with something that actually meets your needs in a real way. Instead of doomscrolling to relax, try something that genuinely helps you unwind like listening to music, stretching, journaling, or stepping outside.
If you usually reach for your phone when you feel overwhelmed, have a go-to strategy ready. Deep breathing, a short walk, or even just stepping away from screens for five minutes can help reset your brain.
Be kind to yourself
Breaking phone addiction isn’t about perfection. There will be times when you mindlessly scroll, fall into old patterns, or struggle to cut back. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. The key is to notice when it happens and gently bring yourself back to your intention. Making small changes can help you feel more present, more in control, and more engaged in the things that actually bring you joy.
Will a dopamine detox help?
Dopamine detox is a popular concept, but it’s not a scientifically recognized medical or psychological treatment. The idea comes from the belief that by temporarily avoiding activities that provide quick dopamine hits (like phone use, social media, junk food, or video games), you can "reset" your brain’s reward system and reduce compulsive behaviors.
What science says about a dopamine detox
Dopamine itself isn't the problem. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate motivation, reward, and pleasure. You can’t "detox" from dopamine because your brain needs it to function.
But behavioral conditioning is real. Constant exposure to high-reward, low-effort activities (like scrolling or gaming) can reinforce habits that make it harder to focus on less immediately rewarding tasks.
Reducing overstimulation can help. Cutting back on instant-gratification activities (like excessive phone use) can make space for deeper, more meaningful sources of satisfaction, like social interactions or hobbies.
A more realistic approach than a dopamine detox
Rather than a full "dopamine detox," therapists (including me!) often suggest reducing reliance on overstimulating behaviors while building tolerance for boredom and delayed gratification. This means:
Setting phone-free zones/times
Practicing mindfulness instead of compulsive scrolling
Finding activities that engage you without constant digital input
So, while you can’t "detox" from dopamine, you can retrain your brain to seek healthier sources of pleasure and break compulsive habits.
How can therapy in Chicago and Milwaukee help with phone addiction?
If you’ve tried to cut back on your phone use but somehow end up scrolling again, you’re not alone. This isn’t about willpower. Phones have been designed to hook you, and when you add stress, boredom, or anxiety into the mix, it’s no wonder breaking the habit feels impossible. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Therapy can help.
A big part of phone addiction is that it’s filling a need
Whether that’s distraction, escape, connection, or just something to do when you’re overwhelmed. A therapist can help you figure out what that need actually is and how to meet it in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling worse afterward.
Maybe your phone is helping you avoid anxious thoughts, numb out when you’re stressed, or feel productive when you’re actually just exhausted. Understanding why you reach for your phone is the first step to changing the pattern.
Therapy also gives you accountability
It’s easy to say, "I’ll use my phone less," but actually following through? That’s harder. Having someone check in with you, challenge your habits, and help you set realistic changes can make all the difference. And if you’ve ever set a screen time limit and just hit “ignore” when it pops up, you know how important it is to have a plan that goes deeper than just trying harder.
Most importantly, therapy isn’t just about cutting back
It’s about creating a life that feels good without constant stimulation. What actually makes you feel recharged? What helps you handle stress without needing to scroll? And how do you actually make those changes stick? That’s what therapy is for.
If your phone use is making you anxious, distracted, or just out of touch with your own life, you don’t have to figure it out alone. There’s a way forward, and it starts with understanding what’s really going on.
About the author:
I’m Shannon, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, therapy for moms, and behavioral change. Helping people break free from phone addiction is one of my biggest passions. I’ve seen firsthand how our phones pull us away from real life and how they keep us stuck in cycles of stress, anxiety, and distraction without us even realizing it. But I’ve also seen how much life opens up when we take back control.
In my work, I help clients understand why they reach for their phones, what needs aren’t being met, and how to create real, lasting change. Whether it’s setting better boundaries, rewiring habits, or learning healthier ways to cope, I believe that reducing phone use isn’t about willpower. It’s about building a life that feels better without the constant pull of a screen.
I provide therapy in Chicago, Milwaukee, Hinsdale, Whitefish Bay, and anywhere in Illinois and Wisconsin. If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start being more present in your own life, I’d love to help. Connect with me to schedule a 15min consultation.
