I’m a Therapist and I Quit Social Media 6 Years Ago

Here’s my story and the top 5 things I’ve learned since I quit social media 6 years ago.

I actually do not remember the exact date I deleted my social media. It was some time in 2016 between when I lost 2 members of my family. My family suffered a loss in 2015 and again in 2017. It’s one of those things you don’t understand until you live it, but truly seeing how short life is made me rethink how I was spending my time each day. At the end of your life, nothing matters except for your memories and experiences. I did not want to look back on my life and wish I spent less time on my phone.

Why did I delete my social media? 

I actually identified my social media scrolling as an unhealthy habit I was stuck in. I would get off work, come home, and just sit on my phone. My mood would drop and I’d be upset that I wasted time instead of accomplishing things I wanted to do. And I’d repeat this more often than I’d like to admit.

I am not 100% against social media. I don’t walk around preaching that everyone should quit social media and I don’t think I’m better than others for not being on it. What I do believe is that you must identify what amount of social media is healthy for you. I found out for me, that number was zero.

I often teach my clients to own their unhealthy behaviors. Recognize how you yourself are contributing to how you feel. It’s not to say it’s your fault. Afterall, social media and our phones are designed to be addicting. That’s a hard fact to be up against. It is to say that it is your responsibility to acknowledge when a behavior you engage in is unhealthy and take steps to change it. Unfortunately, no one else can do that for you.

When cutting back didn't work

So, I tried to decrease the amount of time I spent on social media. I set app timers, I put my phone in another room, I deactivated accounts for a bit, and I asked my husband to remind me when he saw me scrolling. Each of these things worked but only temporarily. In a few days or sometimes I’d make it a few weeks, I’d be back in the trap of scrolling my life away. I probably truly tried on and off for the better part of a year. 

Eventually, I told myself that if I could not figure out a way to decrease my social media use, I would get off completely. Therefore, I gave myself one final try and it again did not show lasting results. I was still noticing my mood was lower and I was wasting my time looking at other people's lives when mine was happening right in front of my face. And, I was missing out on my own life. Enter hitting "delete."

I don’t miss social media

Truthfully, I was nervous to delete my social media and I had no idea how long I would actually delete it for. I did not make any sort of time commitment and just wanted to try it and see how it went. At first, I worried I would lose touch with people; I worried it would be too hard to live a life off social media.

Surprisingly, I do not miss having social media one bit. Not one bit. So much so that 6 years have gone by and I have zero intentions of rejoining social media ever. I briefly had an account just for my business but found myself never on it and quickly deleted that as well.

5 things I learned from quitting social media for 6 years

1. I enjoy truly catching up with people. 

When I see friends or family in person, I actually get to hear about their lives. I don’t see everything on social media. I can honestly ask them ‘what’s new?’ and not already know. They can pull out a picture of their dog and see my genuine reaction in real time. I enjoy hearing about their career updates, family updates, etc. face-to-face rather than through a screen.

2. I take pictures just for me. 

I used to get trapped in the idea of taking a photo just to be able to post it on social media. But now, I take pictures just for my own enjoyment and to send directly to specific family and friends. It makes sharing those moments that much more special. I'm never disappointed when a photo doesn't turn out "perfect" because these photos are just for my own memories. There's no pressure for that perfect pic.

3. I am happy with my own life. 

I don’t compare my life to others' social media lives. I’m not constantly exposed to the best pictures, happiest moments, and extravagant vacations of all my friends, family, and closest 300 acquaintances (sarcasm intended). We all know social media is not an accurate representation of each person’s life, struggles, stress, and falling asleep with their makeup on. However, our brains cannot help but compare to what we see. 

Without social media, I do not fall into that trap anymore. I experience my life on a daily basis and that’s it. I can allow myself to challenge myself, to grow, and to be content in the moment without all the outside noise social media brings.

4. I gained back time. 

Enough said. But seriously, I don’t waste my time scrolling through social media. It’s one less thing I feel I need to do to keep up with everyone and one less distraction getting in the way of the things I really want to do in life such as that load of laundry, take my kiddo for a walk, or cooking a new recipe. I still struggle at times with my phone being a constant pull of my attention. But, without social media, it’s a major distraction that's completely gone.

5. I am more present in the moment. 

As I said above, I don’t want to look back at my life and wish I looked up from my phone more. I’ve embraced the idea of being in the moment as much as possible each day. Being less distracted overall allows my brain to practice more and more how to be present.

I have the time and focus to have morning dance parties with my son while we make breakfast. I can go for a hike and take in how it feels to be under the canopy of the trees. When my dog trots up to me with a toy in his mouth, I can truly enjoy the time spent failing to win at tug-o-war.

Final thoughts on getting off social media

My biggest message to you is to figure out just how much social media usage is right for you. What amount of social media allows you to have the best mental health and not compromise the life you want to live? Maybe it’s zero like it is for me. Or maybe it’s something different. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s. Find the path that is right for you.

Want help reducing your social media use?

I’m a psychotherapist who specializes in helping women identify unhelpful behaviors and replace them with positive habits so they can live a life full of intention. If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.