Starting Therapy for the First Time: Tips & What to Expect
How to Start Therapy for the First Time
Starting therapy for the first time can feel overwhelming. You might have questions swirling in your mind:
How do I start therapy?
What should I expect in my first session?
What will my therapist ask me?
What should I say in therapy?
If you’ve been wondering, should I start therapy? or feeling nervous to start therapy, you’re not alone. Many people hesitate before taking that first step. But if you’ve been contemplating therapy, it’s likely time to explore it.
This guide will walk you through how to start therapy, where to find a therapist, what to expect in your first session, and tips for making the process smoother. Plus, if you're searching for therapy in Milwaukee, Chicago, Hinsdale, or Whitefish Bay, you’ll find how to connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to work together.
How to Know If You Need Therapy
Many people wonder, do I really need therapy? Therapy isn’t just for major life crises. It’s for anyone looking to feel better, handle stress more effectively, or make positive changes.
Some signs that therapy might be helpful:
You feel stuck and unsure how to move forward.
Stress, anxiety, or sadness are interfering with your daily life.
You’re navigating a big life change (parenthood, career shifts, relationship struggles).
You feel overwhelmed by emotions and need help sorting through them.
You want to better understand yourself, your patterns, or your relationships.
As one expert puts it, “People tend to look for therapy when they're feeling stuck in some area of their life, and that is preventing them from living a life that feels full and meaningful.”
If any of this sounds familiar, therapy can be a great way to get the support you need. A good rule of thumb? If you’ve asked yourself, should I start therapy?—the answer is likely yes.
How to Find a Therapist
Finding a therapist that works for you can be a process, but these steps will make it easier to find the right therapist.
Step 1: Identify What You’re Looking for in a Therapist
Before searching for a therapist, ask yourself:
Do I prefer in-person or online therapy?
Do I want a therapist who specializes in anxiety, stress, life transitions, motherhood, or another area?
Would I feel more comfortable with a therapist of a specific gender or background?
Do I want to/need to use my insurance or do I prefer to pay out-of-pocket?
Clarifying your preferences will help narrow your search.
Step 2: Finding a Therapist in Illinois & Wisconsin
If you're looking for a therapist in Illinois or Wisconsin including Chicago, Milwaukee, Hinsdale, and Whitefish Bay, here are some tips to make your search a little easier.
The internet is one of the best tools for finding a therapist that fits your needs. With a few strategic searches, you can narrow down options and find someone whose approach resonates with you.
How to Search for a Therapist Online
When using Google, type exactly what you’re looking for. For example:
“Therapist for moms in Milwaukee”
“Anxiety therapist in Illinois” (if you’re open to virtual therapy include your whole state)
“Therapist for personal growth in Chicago”
If you're looking for therapy in a specific area, try including your city or state in the search.
Pro tip: Scroll past the sponsored posts and focus on the websites that appear on the first few pages of Google. These are often established private practices and clinics.
How to Use Psychology Today
Psychology Today is another great tool when trying to find a therapist that meets your needs. You can filter by location, gender, specialties, cost/insurance, and more.
Reviewing Therapist Websites
A therapist’s website can give you insight into their style, personality, and approach. As you browse, ask yourself:
Does their website speak to me?
Do they describe working with people who have similar challenges to mine?
Do they seem warm, relatable, or experienced in what I need help with?
Many therapists also include FAQs, blog posts, or even short videos explaining their approach. Taking the time to explore their website can help you feel more confident in reaching out.
Step 3: Schedule a Consultation with a Therapist
Once you’ve found a therapist you like, reach out to them to schedule an initial consultation. This is typically free (if it isn’t, feel free to find one that is) and lasts about 15-20mins.
The therapist will have basic questions for you to help them know if their skills and experience are a good fit for what you are seeking from therapy. This is also your time to ask any questions you may have.
Questions I ask my clients during consultation calls:
What are you looking for from therapy?
What are you wanting to work on?
Have you been to therapy before? If so, what has worked and not worked in the past?
I will also review virtual therapy, how they plan to pay for sessions, and go over smaller details on scheduling and policies.
Questions to ask your therapist during the consultation call:
What is your approach to therapy?
How do you typically work with clients experiencing [insert your specific concerns here]
What should I expect in my first session? What are additional sessions like?
Finding the right fit is key, so don’t hesitate to try a different therapist if the first one doesn’t feel like the right match.
What to Expect in the First Therapy Session
Going to therapy for the first time can be nerve-wracking. You might not know what to say, or you might worry about being judged. That’s completely normal, and therapists get it. We don’t expect you to have everything figured out on day one.
Here’s what typically happens in the first therapy session:
Introductions & Paperwork – Your therapist may go over confidentiality, policies, and logistics.
Getting to Know You – Expect some general questions about your life, what brought you to therapy, and what you’re hoping to get out of it.
Goal Setting – You don’t need to have a perfect answer for "What do you want to work on?" but your therapist will help guide you toward a focus.
Building Comfort – You don’t have to share everything right away! Therapy moves at your pace.
It’s Important to Like Your Therapist
One of the biggest factors in whether therapy will be helpful is your relationship with your therapist. Research shows that feeling comfortable, understood, and supported by your therapist plays a huge role in making progress. Therapy works best when you trust your therapist and feel safe enough to open up. A strong connection can help you work through challenges and create real change.
Your first session is also about making sure you feel comfortable. Ask yourself:
Did I feel heard and understood?
Did this therapist’s approach feel like a good fit for me?
Does this therapist’s personality match what I’m needing?
Would I be open to coming back?
It’s okay if the first therapist you meet isn’t the right match. I know that isn’t ideal, but finding the right person is key.
Tips for Starting Therapy
Taking the first step toward therapy can feel overwhelming, but with the right approach, you can make the process smoother and less intimidating. Here are some tips to help you feel more confident as you begin.
1. Know That Feeling Nervous to Start Therapy is Normal
It’s completely normal to feel nervous about starting therapy. You might wonder, What should I talk about? What will my therapist ask me? These worries are valid, but keep in mind that therapists are trained to guide the conversation, so you don’t have to come in with all the answers.
Tip: If you’re feeling anxious, jot down a few thoughts or concerns before your first session. Having a starting point can help ease nerves.
2. Be Honest with Yourself About Why You’re Seeking Therapy
You don’t need to have everything figured out before you start, but having a general idea of what’s bringing you to therapy can be helpful. Ask yourself:
What areas of my life feel overwhelming or unmanageable?
What thoughts, feelings, or patterns keep coming up for me?
What would I like to change, even if I’m not sure how?
Therapists don’t expect perfect answers, but reflecting on these questions can help you feel more prepared.
3. Don’t Worry About Saying the “Right” Thing
Some people avoid therapy because they don’t know what to say or how to start. The good news? There’s no “right” way to do therapy. Your therapist will guide the conversation and help you explore what’s on your mind.
Tip: If you’re unsure how to begin, simply saying, “I don’t know where to start, but here’s what’s been on my mind” is a great opening.
4. Give It a Few Sessions Before Deciding If It’s the Right Fit
The first session is just the beginning. It might feel a little awkward at first, and that’s okay! Therapy is a process, and it can take time to build trust with your therapist.
However, if after a few sessions you don’t feel comfortable or understood, it’s okay to consider a different therapist. A good fit is essential for therapy to be effective.
5. Set Realistic Expectations
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process of self-discovery, growth, and change. Some sessions might feel productive, while others may feel more difficult. That’s all part of the journey.
Tip: Be patient with yourself and trust that progress happens over time.
6. Be Open to the Process
Therapy works best when you approach it with an open mind. It’s normal to feel hesitant or guarded at first, but try to allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable. The more open you are, the more meaningful your sessions can be.
7. Take Notes After Sessions
It can be helpful to write down key takeaways, insights, or emotions that came up in your session. This can help you process what you’ve discussed and track your progress over time.
8. Prioritize Your Appointments
Consistency is key in therapy. Try to make your sessions a priority, just like you would with any other important commitment. If you’re feeling uncertain about continuing, talk to your therapist about your concerns rather than stopping abruptly.
9. Remember That Therapy is for YOU
You’re not in therapy to please your therapist. You’re there for yourself. Your sessions should be a safe space where you feel heard, understood, and supported. If something doesn’t feel helpful, you can bring it up with your therapist.
Starting therapy is a courageous step toward prioritizing your well-being. It’s okay to feel nervous, unsure, or even skeptical at first. The important thing is that you’re showing up for yourself—and that alone is something to be proud of.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve This
Starting therapy is an investment in yourself. If you’ve been thinking about it, take the next step. Research therapists in your area, schedule a consultation, and remind yourself that you deserve to feel better.
About the Author
Hi, I’m Shannon Garcia, LCSW, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety therapy for women, therapy for moms, personal growth counseling, and parent counseling. I serve clients in Illinois and Wisconsin including Chicago, Milwaukee, Hinsdale, and Whitefish Bay.
I’ve worked with many individuals who have never attended therapy before, and I know that taking that first step can feel intimidating. My goal is to create a space where you feel comfortable, heard, and supported. I’m genuinely interested in learning about your life, from your perspective, and helping you create the changes you want to see.
If you’re thinking about therapy but aren’t sure where to start, I’d love to help. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Connect today to schedule a free consultation call.
