How to Embrace Being an Introvert

Here are an introverted therapist’s tips on how to embrace being an introvert. Introverts are awesome people too!

Proud introvert over here! It took me some time in life to learn how to embrace being an introvert and that there was nothing wrong with me for being less “outgoing” than my peers. In working with clients, I find many struggle with their introversion as well.

Finding that sweet spot for you in terms of living as an introvert and being accepting to yourself as an introvert can take some practice. Here are a few of my tips when it comes to embracing your introversion.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

First, figure out if you are an introvert or an extrovert. When talking with my clients, in simplest terms, I describe the difference between introversion and extroversion based on where one gets their energy. Please know, there is definitely a spectrum when it comes to introversion and extroversion. You may fall at one end of the extreme or somewhere in the middle.

Extroverts tend to get energy from others. They seek out social situations in order to recharge themselves. On the other hand, introverts recharge themselves through alone/intimate time.

When I ask my clients if they are an introvert or extrovert, my introverted clients often say “But I’m not anti-social” or “I like to spend time with people.” Introversion is NOT about wanting to be alone all the time and wanting no other life force near you.

Even when spending time with people, introverts can vary from extroverts. Introverts may prefer one on one or a small group of close friends. If they attend a party, introverts may be more likely to spend it with a few, select people rather than move from person to person. Extroverts may float around more and talk to everyone. They may prefer to tell their funny story to the whole group.

Learn what gives and takes your energy

Since introversion occurs on a spectrum, take some time to consider what gives you energy and what drains your energy. By knowing this, you can adapt your life to best suit your energy needs and your personality.

For instance, you may find that being around certain friends does help you recharge. Where other groups of people may take more energy to be around. You may need 100% quiet, alone time every so often. Or, being around close family may be enough of a rest without being totally alone.

I cannot stress enough that there is no right or wrong answer here. This is identifying what works for you as an individual.

Find balance in your down time

My next tip revolves around your free time and how you spend it. Once you know what gives you energy and what drains your energy, you can make sure your free time reflects this as much as possible. 

You’re busy with work, maybe school, and other responsibilities. When you have free time, you need to be sure you are recharging yourself. If you live opposite of your personality needs, you’re going to find yourself drained more and more.

Here’s what works for me. I find that if both of my weekend days has a social activity scheduled, then my weekend does not help me recharge enough for the upcoming week. I make it a point that if I have something one day, I try (as best as I possibly can) to not schedule anything the second day.

It does not always work out. Sometimes, weekends are busy with various family or friend gatherings and that’s ok. But, when I can help it, I make sure a day of “nothing” is on my schedule. This leaves me time for what helps me refuel.

Be kind to yourself

In order to embrace being an introvert, you need to be kind to yourself. There are definitely areas and aspects of our society that reward being an extrovert. This can be difficult.

There is nothing wrong with you, or anyone, for being an introvert. The world needs introverts! Once you can accept that being introverted is not a bad thing, you’ll be much happier and healthier.

About the author:

I am a psychotherapist who works with both women with introverted personalities and extroverted personalities. Through our work together, we identify where your energy needs are met and how to best find this balance in your life. We can focus on how your personality interacts in various areas of your life such as family, friends, work, and school. And then consider what changes might be helpful for you to embrace being an introvert or extrovert.

If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.