5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Feeling Depressed
Ask yourself these 5 things when you are feeling depressed. Addressing these can help you to refocus and even boost your mood.
Just when you thought you were having an ok day, or even a good day, suddenly your mood shifts and you find yourself feeling depressed. You’re having all sorts of negative thoughts and feeling worse and worse. You may not even be sure what triggered this mood shift.
In my time as a human and a therapist, I’ve learned that moments of depression are freaking hard. They are hard to sit with, hard to come out of, and hard to feel like yourself again. What I’ve also learned is that there are a few minor things that can help in moments like these.
Do they make everything suddenly feel amazing and ok? Nope. But these steps can get you some relief and at times, a lot of relief. So ask yourself these questions when you have a sudden onset of low mood.
1. When was the last time you ate and drank?
I’m sure you’ve heard of being hangry. It’s when you’re so hungry you’re irritable and prone to anger. Well, the same can be said for depressive thoughts. When you’ve reached the point of being so hungry that it affects your mood, it’s affecting your thoughts. And if you have a history of depression, your brain may default to negative self-talk.
If you are feeling depressed, ask yourself, “when was the last time I ate?” If it hasn’t been recent, please get some food. Have a snack, order in, or make yourself something. Drink a glass of water. Remember to match your energy level though. When we are depressed, you may not be up for cooking a whole meal and that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Eat something simple that you have or treat yourself to ordering delivery. Make it easy while also helping out your blood sugar.
2. What time of day is it?
I don’t personally have a statistic to throw at you, but most of the time, clients are noticing these sudden moments of depressed thoughts in the evening and night hours. That’s because the distractions of the day are gone and you have more time to think and ruminate on your thoughts.
While you can’t just change the time of day, you can acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “It’s the evening.” This is not your normal way of thinking. Your brain is tired from the day, maybe you’re feeling lonely after everyone else went to bed, and you’re alone with the wonderful (sarcasm implied) random thoughts your brain is sending to you.
It’s time to go to sleep for the night. Give your brain a rest and revisit these thoughts in the morning.
3. Have you been outside yet today?
There is such a connection between our mental wellbeing and the time we spend in nature. If you find yourself in a low mood, ask yourself if you’ve spent any time outside yet today. If not, let’s make it happen.
Again, match your energy level and be nice to yourself about what you are able to commit to. There’s a wide range of ways to get outside. No one is telling you to go for a hike. It’s great if you want to, but it’s also ok to tell yourself that you are simply going to walk to the mailbox and get the mail, take out the trash, or sit on your back step for 5 minutes while your dog runs around the yard. The point is to get some fresh air.
And, if it’s too late to realistically go outside, make the commitment to make it happen tomorrow.
4. Are you on your phone?
Sigh. The addictive nature of our smartphones is constantly working against us. We have to really be aware of when it’s helpful to be on our phone and when we need to take a break.
Going on our phones when feeling depressed is usually an attempt at escaping the negative emotion. For those 1 minute TikTok videos and YouTube shorts, you’re distracted from reality. It’s not actually making you feel better. In fact, it’s usually making you feel worse. When we finally put that phone down, we find ourselves upset that we just wasted all that time and got nothing done. And the negative thoughts continue to spiral.
If you’ve been on your phone, take a break. Engage in something else and something intentional. It can be as simple as putting on the TV. But don’t just put on something mindless. Choose a show or movie, even if you’ve seen it before, that you are going to pay attention to. Intentional activities can do wonders for our mood.
You can do it. Put it down. Put down the phone. Even if it means you don’t finish reading this blog. It might be the most important step to helping your mood.
5. Are you in your bed?
Depression’s best friend… our bed. You can lay there and do nothing. It’s the perfect spot for isolating yourself from friends and family. The perfect spot for scrolling endlessly on your phone. The perfect spot to keep your depression happy.
GET OUT OF YOUR BED. It doesn’t have to involve anything major. Even a simple move from the bed to the couch can make all the difference. Ask yourself, and answer honestly, “is being in my bed helping me right now?” Unless it’s truly bedtime, it’s not.
About the author:
I’m a psychotherapist who specializes in using behavioral activation as a form of treatment for women with depression. I’ve worked with countless women to take concrete steps to reduce depression symptoms while also working to heal any deeper wounds.
Behavioral Activation is an evidenced based treatment for depression symptoms which focuses on behavior changes. I work with you to develop an individualized plan for your specific depression and needs.
If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.
