How Your Silent To-Do List Affects Your Anxiety

Learn how your silent to-do list impacts your anxiety and how to address this so you can live a healthier life.

Your silent to-do list is telling you all the things that need to get done in your life. By addressing the things in your home that add to your to-do list, and ultimately your stress levels, you can lessen your overall anxiety. I hate cleaning. It’s just not my thing and not how I desire to spend my time. That being said, I know that having a tidy space helps my overall mental wellbeing.

What is the Silent To-Do List?

The idea of the silent to-do list was created by author Fumio Sasaki in his book “Goodbye Things.” The silent to-do list is basically how everything in your home needs to be managed and gives off a message telling you what you need to do for it. Here’s a link to a video on YouTube that describes the silent-to-do list in more detail.

Take a moment to look around your space. How many items are “talking” to you?

• Dishes need to be done.
• Laundry basket needs to be put away.
• Amazon return needs to be dropped off.
• Pillows on the couch need to be put back in place.
• Throw blanket needs to be folded.
• Plants need to be watered.

Your brain is paying attention to these items even if you are not consciously thinking about them in the moment.

How does the silent to-do list affect your anxiety?

When your home is cluttered and/or messy, it is sending dozens (if not more) silent messages to your brain of all the things that need to get done. It’s noise that is adding to your stress levels. Your silent to-do list is all the messages your brain is receiving from the things in your home and all the tasks that need to get done.

Our environment can have a direct effect on how we feel. It’s a very real reaction to find yourself experiencing anxiety when you are amongst a cluttered space. You may notice this connection or you may not be aware of it in the moment.

If your belongings are sending you endless messages and demands, then it’s no wonder your home environment is adding to your stress.

How to lessen your silent to-do list

Your home should be your safe space. A space to come home at the end of the day and unwind, find peace, and recharge before the responsibilities of the next day begin. Here are two ways to lessen your silent to-do list.

1. Reduce the number of items sending you negative messages.

One method to lessen your silent to-do list demands is to have less things adding to your list. This typically means having less things in general.

Look around your space, what is on your silent to-do list? For many people, it’s dishes. If you own 12 plates for just 1 or 2 people, you’re more likely to use all 12 and they pile up. Resulting in a large pile of dishes to complete. If you reduce this to owning 6 plates total, you’ll have less dishes to do. Do you need 5 cutting boards? Or, would 3 suffice?

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the amount of laundry you have, would it help to own less clothes? Maybe having one throw blanket on the couch is easier to maintain than constantly folding 3.

Some may embrace minimalism to accomplish this. I believe minimalism can be on a spectrum. Reducing the amount of items in your home will reduce your silent to-do list. But, you don’t need to commit to owning basically nothing. Find the sweet spot for you and your specific needs.

2. Prioritize tidying your space.

By tidying, you are alleviating some of the messages your brain is taking in. I prefer the word “tidy” vs “clean” because this isn’t about making your home spotless. It’s about doing some small tasks to allow your home to feel lighter and not add to any anxiety you may be experiencing.

My biggest tip when it comes to tidying your space is to acknowledge your level of energy and always start with what helps your mindset the most. What will give you the biggest bang for your efforts? For example, I find having my kitchen table cleared off to be most helpful to me. It gives my family space to eat without clutter, space to more easily prep food, and a nice clear surface is so soothing to my mind.

I often do not have the energy to tidy my entire home. Therefore, I always start with the kitchen table. The dishes may be in the sink, there may be a few boxes to take to the recycling, and probably a bit too much dog hair on the floor. But having my kitchen table cleared off, will help me feel better.

What tidying task will help you feel more at ease? Start there and give yourself permission to skip the rest if needed.

About the author:

I’m a psychotherapist who specializes in helping millennial and Gen Z women overcome anxiety. I help women develop healthy habits, such as regular tidying, that help lessen anxiety and depression symptoms over time. Anxiety and depression can make it hard to take part in the habits that help you feel at your best. I work with you to develop an individualized plan to start a habit and walk with you on your journey to be successful in consistently engaging in that habit in a way that works for you specifically.

If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.