Meditation: 2 Things NOT to Do
Meditation is a wonderful skill. It’s easy to imagine what it should be like, but let’s make sure you know what NOT to do when meditating.
Meditation is great for your mental health. In my time as a therapist encouraging meditation and mindfulness practices, my clients often have a misconception about what meditating should look like.
Meditation can look different for everyone. There are various kinds of meditation out there you can try. You may want to use guided meditations or simply sit in silence and meditate on your own. No matter what, meditation comes down to a similar concept. You’re being in the moment and letting your thoughts pass by.
Here are 2 things you should not do when you are wanting to meditate.
Don’t expect to not lose focus when meditating
Newsflash: Your mind will wander while meditating! Now repeat that to yourself a million times. Too often, my clients return to session after trying meditation and tell me it didn’t work. They couldn’t stay focused. I’ve learned to prep them in advance that having their mind wander is normal and expected.
You’ll be sitting still doing breathing exercises and suddenly you’re thinking about what you’re going to eat for dinner, something your friend told you yesterday, or a text message you forgot to respond to. All normal. All expected.
The benefit of meditation for mental health comes from the act of redirecting your focus back to the present. That may be redirecting it back to your breathing, a feeling, walking, or mantra. Every time you bring your focus back, your brain is learning to disengage from a thought. It might be a random thought about an errand you need to run or it may be an anxious thought. The act of redirecting the brain is what you are wanting to do. It will get easier in time to do this.
What to do when your mind wanders during meditation
Know that it is normal: Everyone’s mind wanders. I promise you this. Yes, it’s frustrating but it’s also part of the process.
Notice the thought but do not engage with it: Practice noticing a thought without engaging with it. For example, you have the thought that you need to run to the store for bread. Notice the thought is there and then leave it alone. Don’t start planning when you’re going to go get bread or which store you might go to.
Bring yourself back to the present: Return to whatever you were focusing on during your meditation such as your breath.
Repeat steps 1-4 as needed. And know it will be needed.
Don’t have an all-or-nothing attitude about meditation
Another flaw in your plan to begin a meditation practice is to attempt to commit to doing long meditations each day. Saying you’ll meditate 20 minutes a day is setting yourself up for failure. Sure, you might be able to hit that goal but that’s a hell of a long time honestly.
I encourage you to look at meditation in a different way. You’re building the habit and part of beginning a habit is simply making time for it. I often encourage my clients to start with short meditations. Such as 3 minutes. Sometimes less. Heck, I’ve done 60 second guided meditations numerous times.
You can absolutely choose to do longer ones. But don’t make that your goal. Make it your goal to meditate. No matter how short or long it may be.
I have a whole blog post about challenging perfectionism when starting a habit. Your meditation practice is no different.
About the author:
I am a psychotherapist who specializes in helping millennial and Gen Z women increase the use of healthy coping skills such as meditation. I work with my clients on starting these healthy habits in a realistic way that works for their specific life without forcing them to fit someone else’s mold. Meditation is a wonderful way to help your mental health and I can help you make this part of your daily routine.
If you are in Illinois or Wisconsin, connect with me to see if we may be a good fit to meet your needs and goals. You can also check out my services page to learn more.
